Archive | November, 2012

Compliments for Teacher

30 Nov

Compared to Americans, Koreans are very blunt overall.  For instance, it is not uncommon for someone to tell you that you should diet within 5 minutes of meeting you.  I am thankful that my students usually say positive things to me.  Sometimes their flattery exists only in their actions.  Other times, it feels like they are flirting.  Here are a few:

Elementary School Students:

I overheard one student say (in Korean) “The teacher’s earrings are bling bling.”  What can I say?  I like big shiny earrings!

One student wrote my name over & over in her notebook because she thinks everything about me is cool, even my name.

(after I walked in the classroom with a new hairstyle & skinny jeans) “OH! NEW YORK STYLE! Ohhh…American Gangster…

One of my students said if he could put any memories he has in a time capsule, he would put “Brittany Teacher’s Class” in there FIRST. WOW. 🙂 (it was a class assignment at his school…his mom told me about it during PTC)

When asked what he would invent if he could invent anything in the world, one student said he would invent “a Brittany Teacher doll.

One Kindergarten student insists on sitting on my lap (when I’m not sitting, just squatting..) & telling me I’m her “mama.

(Grade 1)
MA-THER! Teacher, you, Betty’s MA-THER...”
Me:  “Oh? Betty is my baby?
Betty: (super excited) “YES! MOMMY!

She called me Mommy for the next month.  I am flattered that she feels that close to me.

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Chopstick Controversy

26 Nov

Test Question:  “Asking foreigners if they can use chopsticks is a good idea.”  (This was a debate topic.)

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Student 1:  “I eat not food, if I use not chopsticks.” I’m not sure if I sure read this in my Shakespearean or Yoda voice.

Student 2:  “I think good idea because winter is so cold. The chop is dry. We open mouse usually blooding.” *scratches head* anyone care to translate this one?

Student 3:  “Only one person can use chopsticks. If used together, I think it is very dirty, because it looks like kiss!”

Student 4:  If you use chopsticks to eat kimchi (fermented cabbage), it makes it “more delicious“. Ahhh the extra flavor in every chopstick.

Student 5:  After he gave his answer, he asked me “Can you eat the chopsticks?” I’m sure he meant can I use them, but it is much more entertaining to ponder if he CAN eat his and I’m just missing something.

Student 6: When foreigners use chopsticks, they look beautiful.” I don’t even have an explanation for this one…*shrugs in confusion*

Student 7:  “What is it?  I don’t know many English words.  In my head…many confusion!  Please understand me.  Sorry. ^^ Very kind teacher.  감사합니다 (‘Thank you’ in Korean)!”

And here I was the entire time thinking this question was pretty straightforward since we spent 30 minutes in class discussing this EXACT topic on day.  *sigh* Back to the drawing board…

A Dating Game

18 Nov

Test Question:  What type of person would you like to date?

Student 1:  Said he wants a woman to take care of him and “it would be perfect if she is hot and beautiful. Don’t blame me! Almost all guys do that!

Student 2:  Wants to date “a considerate and lovely girl, but that type always has a boyfriend.” He’s hopeful that one day he’ll “get a beautiful girlfriend.”  The same student said he has very few friends and the ones he has are so busy that he can’t meet them often. He feels even more lonely because he has never “made a girlfriend” and asked me for my help. Awww…

Student 3:  Wants to date a handsome & kind person and go on a picnic…”Wow, I’m happy just imaginary.” haha awww…we’re all dreamers at heart.

Student 4:  She described the type of person she likes then said “How about you? I think maybe you like to date with blonde girl. Isn’t it?” O.o Whoooooooaaaaa…not only am I a lesbian, but I want to date White women, particularly Blondes (she could also think I want to date someone a bit ditsy because we discussed that Blonde stereotype). Hey, if that’s your type, I’m not knocking it, but what vibe could I have POSSIBLY given you to make you assume one or both of these things about me? *scratches head*

Student 5:  “I like white, black, and yellow skin. It’s ok. And I want a big eyes & very thin body. Because you know, I have a big…belly hahahaha.” O.o did he just write a sexual innuendo on the test!?

Student 6:  Wants a woman w/a pretty face, long hair, “and feel so good. 🙂 Joke!” haha sir…what part of her are you feeling? Then he said no he just wants a kind woman, because that’s the type of woman he wants to marry…and that I’m kind and funny. (Please tell me I’m not in the running for your future bride…)

Student 7:  Said before he liked only a beautiful woman, but now the “heart is most important.” I made a comment before about how I think a lot of the physical part fades with time so I want the other stuff…I think that swayed his answer haha.
Happy Hunting Guys!

Private Parts Not So Private

13 Nov
(Courtesy: gifsoup.com)

“Soooo hot…want to touch the hiney…”

My middle school students are at that age where everything has to do with their…stuff.

“TEACHER HE TOUCHED MY ‘IMPORTANT’! PLEASE DON’T TOUCH MY IMPORTANT! MY PARENTS MADE THIS & I NEED IT!”

(in response to a girl laughing at “important” outburst) “Ohhhh…you LIKE my important?! You want it?! Oh you are so dirty mind.”

“When I’m hard, my friend gives me Coke.” That can be read all kinds of different ways lmbo

“Teacher, my friend must go to the hospital! Someone kicked his elephant!” (I’ll let you figure out what “elephant” is)

One of my students looked me dead in my eyes and start making sexual noises.  I felt soooo uncomfortable! Then he started shaking and rocking.  I’m still not sure what prompted that.

I don’t know what two of them were thinking, but one was fiercely trying to stab the other in the crotch with a sharpened pencil! O.o

But it isn’t just my students’ privates that are “up for grabs” so to speak…

My kindergarten girls smack and/or grab my butt everyday. Darn curious kindergartners! As if the face-to-crotch hugs aren’t enough!  Oh and on days one of them is feeling EXTREMELY playful, she shakes her head ‘no’ while still hugging my legs.  Got the image yet?  If no, here it is…MOTORBOAT! O.o OMG.  And while I’m peeling that one off me, the other is playing “Bongo Butt” with me.  I get attacked from the front and the back!  Some days my butt is more fascinating than others and she hits it to see it ripple like a stone in a pond or something.  The other one rubs my legs and tries to quickly go up under my dress.  I had to start wearing only pants on days I teach their class.  Sometimes I just turn around and look at the security camera like “Did you SEE that?!  I am completely innocent here and for the record, I keep trying to show AND tell her that is BAD.”

It’s the American teacher in me that is like “Please don’t sue me.  I really didn’t do anything here.”  But in Korea, this stuff happens, the students get a slap on the wrist at best, and the foreigners just keep piling up the stories.

“I’m Not Gay!!!”

9 Nov
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“I am a BOY, Damon!!!”

During one lesson where I asked students about various questions’ appropriateness (when meeting someone for the first time), one question was “Do you have a boyfriend?”  All throughout the class I kept hearing one guy shout “I’m not gay!”  I finally went to ask him why he kept shouting that and he replied “This question…boyfriend…me…no want.”  I told him he could change it to “girlfriend” but he still kept shouting that he is not gay for the duration of the class.

Then in another class, students were asked to share an “Ideal Partner” scrapbook with each other.  One student had a picture of a married woman, so his friend gave him crap about it saying “he only likes married woman.”  Appalled, the student shouted, “No!”  so his friend replies “Oh yes, that is right.  He is GAY.”  And so this student began shouting “I’m not gay!” over and over.

Another student gave a presentation in front of the class about his ideal partner.  He said he wants to go to Lotte World (an amusement park) with his ideal partner and said “if any one wants to go with me, call me.”  The “I’m not gay!” student immediately shouted he wanted to go followed by his friend shouting “See, GAY!”  The presenter clarified that he was only talking to the girls.

**I think compared to Western culture, Korean men are very feminine.  This is why conversations arise about their sexuality so often.  I guess these two students were just fed up with it.**

Aside

We’re Up And Running!

8 Nov

What happens when you put a teacher in a classroom with students old enough to be her friend or sibling?  What about when she’s from the West and they EasternYou get one wonderful mess!

This blog is dedicated to all those awesomely awkward moments that an American teacher experiences in her Korean classrooms.

Here’s a sample:

#thingsmystudentsdo

Midterms this week. Fill in the blank:
“I don’t like ____ people. They get angry easily.”

(Correct answer: short-tempered…my student’s answer: DUTCH)

Another student responded to the question: “What’s your (zodiac) sign?” with “Why are you asking me this? Are you trying to flirt with me?! Are you interested in me? Haha it is just kidding, I’m a Leo, what’s yours?”

Ahhh how I love a little humor to keep me going when grading about 200 tests…

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