Archive | July, 2013

Johnson & Johnson

31 Jul

 

Boy 1:  “TEACHER… he touched my Johnson!!!!”

Boy 2:  “TEACHER… he has no Johnson!!!”

Me:  “Umm.. no touchie your Johnsons please!!!”

Submitted by:  Baconator

Advertisements

Rain Man

27 Jul

sweating guy

One student was so nervous that he started sweating profusely while giving his presentation.

He had his back turned to the audience the entire time.

Poor guy.  It was just raining all over his face.

This Is Only A Test

23 Jul
Today, I gave my students a test.

Students:  I don’t know, from the look on your face, I think the test is difficult.

Me:  If you studied, it’s easy. If you didn’t, it’s hard.

Student:  That’s what all teachers say to give us false hope.

Me:  …  -_-  …
Submitted by:  Amma

Love Connection

19 Jul

My student’s boyfriend came up right after class. Oops.

 

The topic of the day was about dating and describing your ideal partner.  I split the class into groups to share their perspectives.

One group of students was 3 guys and 1 girl.

When she was describing her ideal partner, they compared him to themselves and told her she should choose one of them.

She turned beet red.  Poor thing.  And poor guys, too.  She has a boyfriend.

Pass and Leave? No way!

15 Jul

This student is making sure he is ready for Amma’s class, even if it means sacrificing other classes.

 

I have awesome students…

Some Students:  Teacher, I want to fail this session on purpose.
Me:  Why?
Students:  So I can take take your class again!
Me:  WHAAAAT? AHAHAHAAA!

________________________________________________________

Student:  Look at her; all innocent… Heee 🙂
Me:  Huh?
Student:  You’re late!
Me:  No, I’m right on time!
Student:  *
looks at watch*  Oh, you’re right..

________________________________________________________

Student:  Guess what?
Me:  What?
Student:  I slept in and skipped all my classes today just so that I can have the energy to bother you more!
Me:  0_0 … -_- …

Submitted by:  Amma

BAZINGA!

11 Jul

Bazinga Ball Pit

I spent about 10 minutes laughing with my students about the “Bazinga Ball Pit” scene and singing “Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty.”

Gotta love Big Bang Theory

Fountain of Youth

5 Jul

Nope…doesn’t look a day over 100.

 

“Bella aka (my babygirl):  Mama, (she’s not the only kid that calls me mom) how old are you?
Me:  Let’s see babygirl… 1…2… 100!
B:  WHA!? No, no really how many years?
Me:  I just told you… 100 is a lot of years!
Kelly:  I can’t believe.
Me:  You don’t have to, I’ll still be 100 years old, until my birthday, then I’ll be 101 🙂
K: …what if I ask the desk, will they say you are 100 years?
Me:  I don’t know; they never asked me my age.  But, they probably know that I’m a 할머니 (Korean for “Grandmother”).
B:  You can’t be!  People must die before that!  How are you alive!?  And, you are too beautiful to be a 할머니!  Where are your children?
Kelly:  Yes.  How do you look like that?
Me:  Awww, thank you babygirl!  The secret is to be kind to everyone, even when they aren’t kind to you.  And, you are my children!  You know people live to be 100 all the time!  Maybe even 110!

 
**they gasp in UTTER shock!!**  (I’m trying really hard not to laugh)

 
B:  (really sad face) But, but Mama… You will die 😦 I really don’t want you to die.
Me:  Babygirl, everyone dies.  That’s what makes life to special.  And don’t worry, love me while I’m here and miss me when I’m gone.  But, I know you’ll make me really proud!
Kelly:  Teacher, will you go to heaven?
Me:  Yes, that’s the plan 🙂
Kelly:  Good, me too. We can see you again there, right?
Me:  Right!
B:  Mama, if you die, then I will die too.  I don’t want to wait to see you.
Me:  Awww, Babygirl… You are so sweet! But, don’t you wanna make me happy & show me you love me?
B:  Yes… always.
Me:  Then, live your life as best as you can & don’t miss a single minute!  If you leave, when I leave, I’ll be happy to go with you but REALLY SAD that you didn’t finish your life here.
B: ….(really not wanting to agree) Ummm I don’t think it will be the same when you are gone.
ME:  Just like it won’t be the same when you are gone.  Promise me you will leave when you are supposed to, and I promise to meet you on the other side, okay? (holding out my pinky for a pinky promise)
B:  Okay, Mama, I promise! I will be very good & have my best life! (her smile could melt an iceberg!)
Me:  GREAT!!!  Now, I can go peacefully!
B:  TODAY!!?? (extremely frightened)
Me:  Bwwwwhhhaaa!! Not today, we still have lessons to do! 😉

 

Submitted by:  AbataTeacha

Cookie ≥ Grandma

1 Jul

Someone may have already traded in their Grandma…poor lady…

Student:   “I’m so hungry; I could trade my grandma for a cookie.”

Submitted by:  Amma

I’m not sure how these negotiations would go, but I am at least curious as to how he would think this would work.