Archive | January, 2014

Simply Similac

30 Jan

Back away…you smell like baby…


One of my guy students smelled like baby formula.

I swear I smelled Similac.


Didn’t See THAT Coming…

26 Jan



I was having a conversation with two of my guy students…you know…just checking up on them as a good teacher should.


Guy 1:  I have a girlfriend now.

Me:  Oh yea that’s great.  Congrats!

Guy 1:  Thanks.  Now it’s your turn.

Guy 2: *shifting and looking uncomfortable*

Me:  Oh well I…

Guy 1:  *looking at Guy 2*  Dude what’s your problem?!

Guy 2:  I don’t like to share what is mine.  I’m very territorial.

Guy 1:  *Looking at me then at Guy 2 then me again*  Dude you can’t be territorial of something that isn’t yours.

Me:  *Sitting with a puzzled look…mind BLOWN*

Guy 2:  Don’t you see me trying to flirt here?

Guy 1 & Me:  WOW.

Me:  It’s time for you all to go.

Guy 1:  Good idea.

Who’s the Boss?

22 Jan

“Wait…so YOU’RE the professor?!”  (

“Why yes…yes, I am…”

“Are we gonna have a problem here?”

Every time I walk into a new classroom to teach. This is what I always hear:
Students:  Is she a student? teacher? student?

(They watch my every move until I sit at the teacher’s desk)

Students:  SHE’S A TEACHER!!!!?

Submitted by:  Amma

Objects on Teacher are Larger than Students Can Take

18 Jan

I'm  dead sexy - I'm  dead sexy  Fat Bastard

“*boys in the corner snickering*

Me:  Ok boys, open your books…
Kevin: Teacher this is you! *pointing to an insanely obese white man LITERALLY bursting out of his clothes*
Me: That’s not me. Is that what I look like to you?
Kevin: He is fat.
Me: Yes, I see that.
Kevin: You are fat… But only here *making giant air circles across his chest*

*all the boys begin to giggle in agreement*

Me:  You are absolutely correct. Now what is the closest planet to the sun?
Kevin:  I don’t know?
Me:  Because your book isn’t open! Open your book and leave that man alone! (meaning my boobs)”

Submitted by:  AbataTeacha

Feelings and Philosophies

14 Jan


In my vocabulary class, I was teaching the word “complex.” One of my Saudi students decides to become a Philosopher for the day.
Student:  “Life, it is filled with complexities.”

He was even posing! LOL!!! I don’t even know where he got that from!!!


Submitted by:  Amma

Panty Raid

10 Jan
Me: What colour do you like to wear?
Male student: Red… Clothes… Under…
Me: Underwear?
MS: Yes! I like red underwear!
Female student: Can I check?
Me: NOT IN CLASS!!(-_(\

Submitted by:  The White Tiger


I Don’t Wanna Go!

6 Jan



Some students told me: “I want to fail this session on purpose.”

Me: “Why???”

Students: “So we can take your class again!”


Submitted by:  Amma

Mosquito Serenades

2 Jan


I don’t think when Ne-Yo wrote the song “So Sick” that he had this scenario in mind.  But hey, artistic interpretation right?