Archive | March, 2014

Test Services

31 Mar

How many points did I give their answers you ask? Hmm…
(Courtesy: twistedsifter.com)

 

While I was grading midterms, a few of my students decided to tell me about their skills.

One guy volunteered to teach me Microsoft Excel.  He’s my age too…if he was American, I’d think he was trying to be slick.
One girl offered to teach me the piano and invited me to her next recital so I could basically audition her as my instructor.

 

Lesson here?  The more tests this foreign professor gives out, the more free services she will get!

Tardy Threats

27 Mar

Must make it to class…with a box of chocolates!!
(Courtesy: mrwgifs.com)

Today a student of mine from U.A.E. calls me 2 minutes late for class.

He pleads ‘Teacher! Don’t count me as late because I bought cake for the entire class!’  Then, while distributing the cake, he gives me a piece of candy also.

To top it off, he tells me ‘Teacher, you better eat that candy.  Ok?  I got it for you.  SO you better eat it.’

HAHAHAHAHA Wow!  This is the first time that I’ve ever been threatened to eat candy!  😛

This had definitely been an interestingly funny day…

Submitted by:  Amma

Dinobots

23 Mar

A former life…
(Courtesy: tumblr)

 

Student: Teacha…why are your gums brown? Are they burnt?
Me: No, God wanted to them to match my skin color.
Student: Were you brown…like in baby?
Me: Nope, I transformed 2 years ago. I used to be a dinosaur.
Student: *makes shocked face* Ahhhhh! I know!
Me: *hangs head*
#doesntunderstandsarcasm

 

 

Submitted by:  Carebear

Easy is the Best

19 Mar

Nice try, I’m not that kind of teacher…
(courtesy: mrwgifs.com)

 

Student: “Teacher! Make the quiz easy! You know, you’re the best teacher ever!!!”

Me: “Brown-nosing gets you nowhere.”

Student: *In a serious tone* “Aw man! I thought it would work!”

 

Submitted by:  Amma

Sausage Fest

15 Mar

Student 1: We’ll have a sausage party.
Student 2: What did you say?
Student 1: A sausage party. Would you like to come?
Student 2: Of course!

Laughing to myself!

Submitted by:  Dropdeadbarbi

Porno of the Past

11 Mar

Well…yea…
(courtesy: mrwgifs.com)

 

 

Me:  Can anyone think of a conditional sentence using the simple past and an emotion?

 

Student:  When my brother deleted my porno I was upset.

 

Submitted by:  Ambitious Educator

What do you say behind that?!

Dictating Diction

7 Mar
obama gifs

Aww, poor Obama…in the eyes of lil Asian students, he is on the path to becoming a Dictator…I guess this is only the beginning… (courtesy: huffingtonpost.com)

Me:  Please read your speech.

Student:  Hello everyone.  My name is Obama Barack…I mean Barack Obama.  I am…???…72 years old.  I go to White House…Washington.  Not school.  I will graduate in 2020…hmmm…no.  Never!  I like hamburgers.  I really like hamburgers!!!  If I had one million yen I would…buy people.  Someday I will be a…d…d…di…ummmm…a dictator!  Thank you.”

Me:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! *crying*

Submitted by:  Katt Teacher Elem Daegu

ESL MD or PhD? O.o

3 Mar

Just 4 more days til Saturday…
(courtesy: twistedsifter.com)

 

I went to class with a white rain jacket on today.

What does my student say?

“Hey look!  The teacher is pretending to be a doctor today!”

 

(-_-)

 

Submitted by:  Amma