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Master Builders at Work

11 Jun

(Courtesy: linkedin.com)

Jay:  Teacher do you think I will be a inventor?
Me:  Sure Sugar-bee. You can be AN inventor. You can be whatever you want to be.  🙂
Jay:  Good. Then I will invent something fantastical! (so serious about that word)
Me:  With that creativity I’m sure you will!!

Submitted by:  Abata Teacha

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Sheldon?

30 May
https://i1.wp.com/37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9jvh8wzus1remtwmo2_500.gif

(Courtesy: tumblr.com)

Me:  (To my second grade class)
*Points to a boy* “What’s your name?”
Boy:  “She…Shel… ummm… Sheldon.”
Me:  Okay, good.
*points to the girl next to him* “What’s your name?”
Girl:  Penny.
Me:  BAZINGA!
Boy and girl : O_o

Submitted by:  JoJo

Supercalifra…genius!

6 May
Nick-miller

His future… He’s got this! (Courtesy: Mashable.com)

 

Jay:  Teacher do you think I will be a inventor?
Me:  Sure Sugar-bee. You can be AN inventor. You can be whatever you want to be:)
Jay:  Good. Then I will invent something fantastical! (so serious about that word)
Me:  With that creativty I’m sure you will!!

Submitted by:  AbataTeacha

Sausage Fest

15 Mar

Student 1: We’ll have a sausage party.
Student 2: What did you say?
Student 1: A sausage party. Would you like to come?
Student 2: Of course!

Laughing to myself!

Submitted by:  Dropdeadbarbi

Compliments for Teacher Continued

10 Jan

The older they are, the more advanced their English is (generally speaking).  Their confidence goes up in the flirting department, too.  -_-

Middle School Students:

One of my nails broke & my students were in awe.  They each asked to see my finger & the nail!  They passed it around class.  That’s right children…even my nails are fascinating.

One student told me he loves me & proposed in class because he didn’t do his homework.  It’ll never work between us buddy; you can’t even commit to homework.

If the teacher is not handsome/pretty, they will not really pay attention. They told me “You are pretty so it’s ok; we listen.”  They like me. Glad I can do my job now. O.o

One student was struggling in my class so she started coming to school an hour early for tutoring so she can keep up in my class & not be transferred out to another teacher.

Some of my students think my $3 earrings from Forever21 are so shiny and silvery that they are worth $50 and are real silver.  They think I am very fashion forward.  Keep believing that…

My class that is just 3 6th grade boys is so RANDOM!  The other day, they told me they are all in love with me and I need to tell them “which one of us do you think is the most handsome or else we will fight each other!  You don’t say, we fight!”  Then the next day, I got to watch them run around my classroom trying to kill this horsefly that was flying all around and really distracting me.  They got super creative in their techniques.  They hopped over chairs, used a Dixie cup to capture and suffocate the poor fly before it dropped to the floor dead.  Then they poked their chests out with a look of satisfaction like “Yea…that’s right.”

Private Parts Not So Private

13 Nov
(Courtesy: gifsoup.com)

“Soooo hot…want to touch the hiney…”

My middle school students are at that age where everything has to do with their…stuff.

“TEACHER HE TOUCHED MY ‘IMPORTANT’! PLEASE DON’T TOUCH MY IMPORTANT! MY PARENTS MADE THIS & I NEED IT!”

(in response to a girl laughing at “important” outburst) “Ohhhh…you LIKE my important?! You want it?! Oh you are so dirty mind.”

“When I’m hard, my friend gives me Coke.” That can be read all kinds of different ways lmbo

“Teacher, my friend must go to the hospital! Someone kicked his elephant!” (I’ll let you figure out what “elephant” is)

One of my students looked me dead in my eyes and start making sexual noises.  I felt soooo uncomfortable! Then he started shaking and rocking.  I’m still not sure what prompted that.

I don’t know what two of them were thinking, but one was fiercely trying to stab the other in the crotch with a sharpened pencil! O.o

But it isn’t just my students’ privates that are “up for grabs” so to speak…

My kindergarten girls smack and/or grab my butt everyday. Darn curious kindergartners! As if the face-to-crotch hugs aren’t enough!  Oh and on days one of them is feeling EXTREMELY playful, she shakes her head ‘no’ while still hugging my legs.  Got the image yet?  If no, here it is…MOTORBOAT! O.o OMG.  And while I’m peeling that one off me, the other is playing “Bongo Butt” with me.  I get attacked from the front and the back!  Some days my butt is more fascinating than others and she hits it to see it ripple like a stone in a pond or something.  The other one rubs my legs and tries to quickly go up under my dress.  I had to start wearing only pants on days I teach their class.  Sometimes I just turn around and look at the security camera like “Did you SEE that?!  I am completely innocent here and for the record, I keep trying to show AND tell her that is BAD.”

It’s the American teacher in me that is like “Please don’t sue me.  I really didn’t do anything here.”  But in Korea, this stuff happens, the students get a slap on the wrist at best, and the foreigners just keep piling up the stories.